Monster Managers and Customer Covens- More Workplace Horror Stories!

Join your hosts as they continue down the dark stories of workplace horrors! The trick-or-treating continues with more tricks- monstrous tales of managers gone amok and customers so wicked that they must be part of a coven!

Stella and Roberta have dedicated the month of October to the wackiest, spookiest, scariest horror stories around! Candidly, some of these may scare the sh*t out of you. :)

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Today's disclaimer is brought to you by the goals of dead companies. They've raised their mummies and graveyard processes to provide regurgitated horror. The Toxic Tea Room podcast is for entertainment purposes only, and for scaring you. Neither the Toxic Tea Room nor its parent, that One Booth Productions LLC, is responsible for the statement or opinions of its guests, submissions, content derived from publicly available sources, or those black cats sipping milk in an alley. If you find this podcast spooky, I have news for you. Your Jack-o-lantern finds you spooky. Regardless, this podcast and our parent company are not responsible for your actions because of any content produced in this podcast, including scare actors in a corn maze. Listeners are encouraged to vet any recommendations with certified professional personnel. For more information on our disclaimer, as well as to see some amazing additional content. Grab your pumpkins and visit www.toxictearoom.com. I'm Stella. And I'm very frightened, Roberta. Welcome to the Toxic Tea Room. scare actors in a corn maze, I'm gonna have nightmares for weeks. You know that's the one thing I hate. I hate, I hate, I hate. So real quick before we get into today, so can I talk about a spooky thing that I did with my daughter? Okay. So my daughter, who visits me on the regular, we talk every single day, but visits me on the regular, said she was gonna come and spend the weekend with me. And that's great. and bring my granddaughter, which is the best part of that visit, right, because my granddaughter's adorable, but she wanted to go spend the night at Waverly Hills Sanatorium. So for those unfamiliar, Waverly Hills Sanatorium was built in about the 1920s to help treat tuberculosis patients, and a lot of people died during that period, and it's allegedly quite, quite haunted. So we go do it. All I can say is this, I'm not scared of much, but if I was more afraid of like somebody popping out and doing like a jump scare, excuse me, cause then I'd be in jail for assault, cause I don't jump scare at me, I can't control it, I will punch you. So hearing about that in a corn maze, I'm gonna have nightmares for weeks. I'm just, no thanks though, I don't, that's a little scary. And speaking of scary, we want to acknowledge a couple of things. Our typical format is talking about toxic work environments and the issues that cause that toxicity. And yes, we do it in a humorous way. We've always said we take ourselves not seriously at all. We take the issue seriously. We goof around because we think you are educated when you're entertained. And we deal with enough heaviness. with what we have to go through in these environments that we don't want to add a heavy podcast to it. And in October in particular, we're like, you know what? October is one of those months, you know, we're all leaving, officially leaving summer, waving farewell to it. See you next year. And welcoming the coziness of fall, the cooler temps, and the fall holiday, starting with Halloween. And we said, how fun would it be? to do workplace horror stories for the entire month of October. And we can read them. Thank you for your submissions, by the way. We can share them. And yeah, we can laugh at them. Because if we don't laugh, we cry. So we just want everyone to know we haven't walked away from the issues. No, the issues are still there. We're fervently in pursuit of solving those issues. You know, there's lots of things we can't wait to give you guys some updates on next month. But for this month, we just wanted to take a little respite and have some fun together in a fun month and just kind of have a break from what we know is very hard, psychologically traumatic workplace environments. And we just wanted to offer our listeners a little break. Yeah, and I just have to say, you know, the world right now is a scary place. So I think it's even more important to provide a little humor or, I guess, balance to the heaviness, like you said, Roberta, because, I mean, there's just a lot going on in the world. And it is a scary time, not just because it's October. There's been such a It's been such a rough year, I think economically, things going on. So yeah, hopefully you guys can have a little fun with us. Let your guard down, laugh a bit, and yeah, enjoy the ride. You know, I think it's time that we did another, another little round of workplace horror stories. What do you think, Stel? So freaking lately, it's so much fun. So I think we'll start with some monster managers. Monster managers. Was I a monster manager? No, not at all. Promise? Yeah, I promise. Okay, okay, I believe you. So we scrubbed the internet again for some of the most horrific stories from Glassdoor, Workable, Career Contessa, Cracked People Hum, and just normal websites. And here is the first one in our Monster Manager category. Alright, although I've gotten approval to work from home one day a week, my boss works from home three days a week. If I took my eyes off of my computer screen, we use G-Chat to communicate throughout the day. For three minutes, my manager harangued me. She told me I'd lose my remote privileges unless I started letting her know when I was getting up to take the dog outside, make a cup of tea, or use the bathroom. Wow, what a monster manager. I always feel like somebody's watching me when I go make a cup of tea. Oh, the frick. Really? So wait, there, it's a privilege to work remotely? Huh. I thought working remotely allowed us to still do the work. And I think there's plenty of studies that have shown that remote work is actually more productive. There's fewer distractions, because you don't have people walking by your desk, asking how your weekend went. You don't have meetings that are there just for the sake of meetings, that you can get more work done. You don't have a commute. There's been so many things that show the positive, but now all of a sudden it's a privilege. It's a privilege to let your dog outside. But if you were in the office and you went to the break room to get a cup of coffee, nobody would say shit. Well, I think, you know, depending on how you lead, you can quickly determine if someone's abusing that because they won't show the results, right? I mean, that's simple. Should... even some folks, I've seen some hilarious videos and TikToks of people that are like faking being at their desk because they have something that's moving their mouse around. And I'm like, but understand that happens because somebody has installed remote software to track these software movements of the employee working at home, which they wouldn't do if they were in an office setting. Now, having worked in both a remote and in-office environment, I gotta be honest. Working remotely, people do more work. They do. Part of it, I think they feel like they have to over-prove themselves. I am working. I'm not watching Netflix. I'm working. But at the other side of it, you're right. I mean, it's about results. If I'm giving you the results, why do you give a shit what I'm doing? If the results are there, who cares? Who cares? People need to lighten up. Freaking Gestapo. All right, that's a monster manager. I have another one. And I think this is more of a Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde kind of monster. You'll see why in a second, but I have to, I have to give a caveat here, Stella, because there's some technical language here that I personally, Roberta, do not understand. I don't know what I'm talking about here, okay? So I may say some things incorrectly. Don't come at me. Listeners, give me some grace. If you do understand this thing, like, she's so stupid. She doesn't know what that is. You're right. In this case, I am a complete idiot because I don't know the technical jargon here, but I'm gonna do my best. Okay? Fair? All right. So here we go. To preface, here's a little background on myself. I'm 19 going on 20 years old. Aw, little guy. I've been in the trade for about six months, very green still, and I'm about to begin the second year of a two-year tool and die program at a local tech college. I started working at a very small injection mold shop in October, only five guys, including me. I really like the shop and what I've been doing, but I have come to dislike my boss. He's a 50 something, hey, now first of all, pause, take it easy on that, 50 something, age is but a number, okay? Come on. Some of us are 50 something and we're not Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde, okay? So let's not discriminate based on age, getting back into it. Bald man with glasses. I think bald men are sexy. I'll say it. Glasses are cool because I wear them. bald man with glasses, that guy sounds like a frickin' hunk. I'm just gonna say it. I'm just gonna, 50 something, he's established? Bald, hell yeah, with glasses? Your boss sounds like a hunk. Does he have a little beer belly too? Because that's pretty hot too. give me that beer belly. Hell yeah. Okay, Roberta, you're married. Okay, and he's also the owner. That's the boss, all right? That's his business. The guy is a complete hard ass. I'll do another quick pause. That's Gen X, okay? Cause if he's 50 something, he's Gen X and we are hard asses because nobody raised us. If you guys don't understand how Gen X works, go look. We were not even allowed in the house. So... That's why he's a hard ass. So just understand. Okay. Let's see. And always seems like he's in a bad mood. Whenever we're doing a setup or he's showing me how to do something, he's very vague about what should be done. Then when you ask several questions, because he's been very vague about what should be done, his lack of ability to communicate effectively, he gives you smart ass responses and expects you to know it already. He has also, I mean, well, let's, why don't you know it? You know that type of, you know that type style? Horrible type. He's also contradicted himself on a few occasions. Edit, pause. Let me get her outside real quick. You hear her? Like, nobody needs an audience. Why is she back in the house? Hold on. Be right back. Hold on. Hold on! Sugar. Thank you. The hoe. Okay. Where was I? And contradict himself on a few occasions. Okay. All right. Edit Mark, back in. Most notably, when I was using a tap extension to tap a, I hope I say this correctly, quarter 20 thread in the ID of these gas manifolds. The first tap I used was a straight flute hand tap. And, this is so weird, and it snapped in half as soon as I grabbed the wall of the hole. we pause for a second? There's a lot of tapping going on. And I want to say it sounds like a dance? I don't know. Anyway, go ahead. I have a question. What hole? I don't, I already said I didn't understand. So. straight flute hand tap. It snapped in half as soon as it grabbed the wall of the hole. Maybe the black hole. I don't know. Maybe this is a universal thing. I'm not sure. But anyway, the straight tap snapped. That much we've got, okay? And my boss then suggested the use of a spiral flute machine tap. Okay, before I started using it, I showed it to my boss and he gave me the thumbs up. I tapped the first part successfully but snapped deep in the hole on the second part and had to be burned out. I don't know what any of that means. Maybe some of our listeners do, but it sounds awfully dangerous to me. You're burning holes out. What does it mean to burn out a hole? I don't understand. This is out of my realm of experience. I'm not... I'm just ignorant in this area. I don't know what any of this means I just know that there's a whole lot of jokes going through my head that I'm scared to say right now Which says a lot because usually I have zero filter on that stuff, but okay After telling my boss what had happened. He told me that I quote should have been using a hand tap Well, that's what I said. First of all, why is this guy going to a spiral tap? He should have been using a hand tap Stella I mean, hand tap on the s anyway. You're over here tapping asses already. I don't know, I just, I don't understand any of this. Spiral tap, hand tap, I know spinal tap. I know, I am familiar with the spinal tap procedure and the band. I know spinal tap. I don't know any of this other stuff, but apparently it was a big deal. I'm, I was still in disbelief and I'm not sure that if he did that to fuck with me or if he seriously didn't remember. Look, he's 50, not 80. Okay, let's not go there. He also has no problem insulting you. We wear aprons and I like to tie mine on the front because it's just easier for me. My boss saw this and said, "'I guess tying a knot behind your back "'is an acquired skill.'" I shrugged it off, but I found it rather unprofessional. How do you deal with someone like this? I feel like every move I make is wrong and I just end up getting yelled at. Every day when I come home from work, I'm stressed and worried about what the next day will bring. Well, I'll give the writer just a smidgen of advice. First of all, on things like the apron tie, as much as it may bug you, shrug that stuff off. Just shrug it off. Because at the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal. I'm not advocating for anybody to be insulting because you shouldn't be. We actually advocate for the complete opposite of that behavior. And you should not have to deal with this whole Jekyll and Hyde where Okay, yep, go ahead and do that. Okay, why would you do that? That's frustrating and I totally relate to that. To be at the young age that you are and go through that. I mean, I wish I could tell you that it gets better from here, but honestly it kind of doesn't, which is the whole point of this podcast. We'd like for it to be better for everybody, but I don't know, sounds rough. I wish I understood more of what this job was so that I could actually comment in a much more proficient way, but. There's just too many things with holes and tapping, and I just don't understand, Stella. I can't put tap and hole in the same sentence and not get dark, so I just- Yeah. Well, I don't think we need to understand exactly. But we do understand passive aggressive and, you know, people that want you to know everything without teaching you. I mean, that to me is I've seen it before. I've seen bosses like that before. And it's super, uber annoying. Anyway, I'm gonna cut try to get through this next one without any tapping. Anyway. All right, here it goes. I was an assistant to a spoiled person. Her dad wanted her to take over the business. He was an insurance agent. And she wanted to save kids from cancer. noble pursuit. So, my job was to call people to remind them of their monthly payments, and in passing, try to convince them to donate to the cause. I could do it. I've had worse jobs. But she would sit next to me all day observing how I worked, telling me off for not saying exactly what she wanted me to say, but not telling me what she wanted me to say. She would drone on about her rich friends while I was trying to make the calls, would get mad if I interrupted her to make a call, like her job, and at the end of the day she'd tell me off for making so few calls. Also, her idea to save kids from cancer was to paint the wall of a hospital full of Disney characters. It was painted with Bugs Bunny and friends. And according to her, Disney would heal the kids faster. Yes. so many questions. Let's start with the first one. Disney heals faster than Bugs Bunny? Cartoon characters have healing properties? Doesn't Fugs Bunny say what's up, doc? I mean, good call. I mean good call Stella, and he's eating a carrot. I mean, oh, that's healthy. So, hold up. So, if he's calling people, reminding them of, is reminding you of your monthly payments a nice way of saying you're a bill collector? Hi. Remember that insurance you took out? Well, if you'd like it to stay there, could you remember to make your monthly payments? And oh, by the way, while I have you on the phone, would you like to donate? We're trying to save kids from cancer. You can't make your monthly payment, but let's donate too. I mean, and then when I hear help save kids from cancer, I mean, cancer is a terrible disease and I wish it on no one, absolutely no one. If the devil incarnate appeared before me and said, hey, I have cancer, I'd be like, dude, that's a bummer because I would wish that on no one, horrible disease. But when it afflicts children, you tell the devil, ha ha, is that what you're saying? Yeah, but cancer is just that bad, right? And when... it is. When kids get cancer, it's particularly cruel because here they are fighting for their lives and their lives just started. So it tugs at the heartstrings. If someone's asking me to donate to save kids from cancer, I immediately think research, medicine, pay for hospital stays, right? Help support families being there. I'm in on all of those things. You're redecorating because somehow Bugs Bunny pisses you off and you're convinced Mickey and friends will get the job. done to heal them faster. I mean, don't you know, everyone knows Disney cures cancer. If that if Disney could prove that they could cure cancer, trust me, I have I feel confidence they'd capitalize on that somehow. Not because they're an evil company. They're not because they're a company. Because you know, they're a company. I just I don't know that is so freaking weird. Is there anything else in that story? Yeah. So she says, when I quit, I just blurted everything out. She was so she was so mad that she got up, push my chair out of the office and into the lobby, got in the way so I wouldn't grab my purse until I told her I would call the police. Then she threw the purse at me and didn't let me get my office stuff like my mug, notebook, pens and even the stapler. I had bought because she didn't provide me with any office supplies. Sounds like a real winner, this lady. I mean, how childish. And if I were this lady, all I have to say is I would call the cops. Teach her that that's, yeah, because, hey, let me get my office stuff and she's acting like a complete child. I mean... And I'm assuming when she pushed her chair out, she was in the chair at the time. What a scene. Like, I don't even know, like, this lady who's not your boss, she's the boss's daughter, wields you out into the lobby in your chair while you're in it, and then refuses to let you get your purse. I mean, throws it at me and then no, you can't have your stapler. Isn't that an office space thing like with his red stapler? Like, no, you can't have your red stapler. No, you can't have it. my stable. But that's my stapler. Too bad, it's my stapler now. I own the stapler now. And don't worry if you're still missing a mug, we have toxic tea room mugs that will be going up for sale very, very soon on our website. You can replace it with that toxic tea room mug and let your new boss, because I know you've quit, let them know that you know, that you listen to this wonderful podcast. Oh my God. It's a great Boss's Day gift too, by the way. What a great gift for your boss. like to do another Monster Manager one. I worked in a kitchen at a retirement home. I was the morning cook and became good friends with the night cook before he got promoted to head chef. I even attended his wedding with my partner and overall had a good time. Shortly after he got promoted, he started to get more and more lazy. I'd have to stay later in the day to make sure all the orders were put away. He'd sit outside and smoke for an hour at a time. I put up with it for a few months. I mean... Wow. Guys has the patience of Job. Yeah, when I told him that my partner was pregnant and my son was due in July, all he said was, oh man, that better not fuck up my birthday weekend. Fast forward. I know. Geez, that is just horrible. Fast forward to when my partner went into labor at 430 a.m. Love how kids say, hey, it's the middle of the night, I'm gonna come now. Anyway. they come when they come. Exactly. I called my boss and told him I wouldn't make it to work, seeing as my son was being born. He called me back at 5.30 a.m. asking if my son was born yet, and when I told him no, he asked if I could come in for a few hours while we waited. When I told him no, he had a hissy fit over the phone and hung up. What a winner. On my first day back, he brought me into the office and wrote me up for missing shifts. I quit and thankfully got a new job right away, but it took him three months to give me my vacation pay, and he only did so when I went to the labor board. So wait, you're at the, I mean, Gordon Ramsay. I didn't think even Gordon Ramsay would be like, fuck off, go see your son be born. I know I did a terrible accent, I can't do accents. You know, I always wanna be surprised by people that no one has the level of gall until I hear something that I'm like, yeah, they have the level of gall. When... When you're talking about your child being born and you give it an hour, so is he here yet? And what do you want him to do then? Okay, now that you've been born, honey, I gotta go. What? Seriously, because what? Is he interrupting your smoking time? I mean, can you just work the kitchen for a day? I mean, what is the- didn't give him enough warning. He should have come up with exactly. Thank God. want it to quote unquote, fuck up your birthday weekend. Okay, so it didn't, but now it's fucking up your morning shift. Can, I don't understand. To call and say, well, can you come back for a few hours while you wait? How about no? How about go work the kitchen? How about your staffing shortage isn't my issue? I told you I wasn't gonna be in. You know during COVID that this dude was like, well, can't you just double mask? Dude, I tested positive for COVID. Well, but okay, but how sick are you? Can you come in for a little while? Like, are you really sneezing a lot? Like, can you just, are you vomiting? Can you breathe though? Are you on a ventilator? You're not, so can you come in for just a few hours? You know during COVID he was that guy. You know this manager was that guy. Stella, I can't take any more monster managers today. I can't, I can't do it. Edit Mark, I have to let my fucking dog back in because she's whining now. I'll be right back. She's testing, testing. Okay. And edit back in. So let's switch it up and let's move away from those monster managers and into, I've had enough of them. I mean, we've already, I mean, we deal with those people enough in real life. Let's focus on. customers now. Customers that are so horrible you swear they come from a coven. Let's look at the coven of customers. I'm gonna start with one that is near and dear to my heart only because I did spend some time in banking. I did. I did. And this has a banking connection. Are you ready? Okay. I worked in retail banking for five years. God bless you. I once had a customer scream across the branch that my breasts were distracting him from his banking. My breasts were distracting him from his banking. Were they laying atop your deposit slip, sir? How are the boobies distracting you? I assure you in a retail bank environment, she's not there in a bikini top, okay? Like it's banking. One of the most conservative dress codes to this day. There is no casual Friday in banking. It's, you're banking. And in retail banking. They always dress very conservatively because you want to convey that seriousness. Banks handle your money. You want to evoke that you take it seriously and your dress code supports that. And in fact, she even says, quote, My sweater was in no way a dress code violation and it was mortifying. I freaking bet. Can you imagine someone yelling at you from across the floor? I can't do my banking because of your tits. Like, can you imagine that? What am I supposed to do? What am I as a woman that is well endowed supposed to do with these so that you can complete your banking? What should I do? Should I go in the closet for a while? Should I saran wrap them tight so that they appear flat? What do you want me to do about my, I mean, God gave me these milk bags. What would you like me to do? Like if you're like, remember Charo from the seventies? I think he's got a fixation is what I think it is on this poor woman's breast. But you remember Charo from the seventies, the woman that would like just going, koochie koo. Like if she was doing that, like if she was going around skimpily dressed, walking past him going, oh, you'll do the banking, koochie koo. The man makes a point. Then I'm on his side. I strongly doubt that's what happened. I think he just had a fixation, but she goes on to say, My 20 year old coworker had an older male customer stalk her. That's terrifying. And she not only ended up having to file a restraining order, she had to move to a different branch for a period of time. The man proceeded to call every single branch in the area trying to find her. I was also asked out several times by customers and it was always, always awkward and uncomfortable. Sliding a note to a bank teller to ask them out is usually not a good idea. Isn't that how they try to stick up banks? Like I have a gun, give me your money, here's a note. I mean, I will tell you this, as a woman, it's terrifying to think that you have to, you can't even go to your job because a customer is stalking you. Stalking terrifies women in particular because, I mean, let's just face it, we're vulnerable. I mean, it's not as if we can't defend ourselves. We're not weak. Don't ever think about it, people. We're not weak. But when you have to go to a different branch and you're taking on that additional expense and you're driving the additional time to get wherever the hell you have to go, and you go to a different branch for a while because you have a customer that doesn't leave you alone, I mean, that's terrifying to me. She was only 20. I mean, what is... Ugh. it sounds like the bank did right by letting her go to a different branch, which kudos to that. I agree. But I would just tell that customer next time you came in to do his banking, here's the totality of what we have in your deposit, sir. Go to a different bank. Get out. I mean. You know what though, rather than sliding over a note to a teller, you can slide over to eskatena.net to learn about the firm that is delivering amazing value for its clients, fast. When you need expertise and results, you need eskatena. That is eskatena.net. Unleash uncommon results with eskatena. Awesome! I have another customer horror story. Okay, here it comes. I once had an older lady spit at me. 100% absolutely not. Yeah, like, is that like a llama? A llama mama. Yeah, that's horrible. someone that's assault. So unless your job is like one of those freak show people that, well not freak show people, let me take it back, people have kinks. That's all I'm gonna say. People have kinks. The reason people are making lots of money taking pictures of their damn feet is because people have kinks, okay? Right. And there are some people that have kinks like that. They want to be demeaned. I mean, can it leave somebody wanted to pay me a whole hell of a lot of money to tell them they've been a bad boy? I could consider it. But unless you're in this exact market, you should never have to worry about being spit upon in the line of work. That's disgusting. That is disgusting. Why was this poor person spit on? Yes. because we wouldn't allow half of her 10 person party to bring in outside food for Mother's Day brunch. As in, this woman wanted five people to bring in food from another place and eat it in our restaurant, which is clearly ridiculous. They all got to eat. wait a minute. So she's got a party of 10. So I'm gonna take up space for 10 people in your establishment, but only five of us are going to order your food. The other five, they don't like your food. They wanna bring in their own food, but you're still gonna have to clean up after them. I'm still gonna need you to cater to them, and we're still gonna take up five people's space in your restaurant. You good? We cool? And the answer was no to that? That's no you mean like that does that's not normal practice in a restaurant. Okay weird. All right Okay Yeah, so they all got to eat outside as we kicked them right out. People are on fire. Yes. GTFO on that. And you spit on someone because they said you can't bring outside food and eat in here. You spit upon them. Why is that? I know we live in an increasingly scary world, but why is it always violence? Like our last episode, someone... is clearly cleaning up a mass catastrophe in the bathroom from an old man who shat himself silly. And because he wouldn't get out of the way for this man to relieve himself in a shit-filled restroom, he chose violence and relieved himself all over everything, including the door handle. And now this woman, because the restaurant said, no, you can't bring outside food in here. And I don't know if anybody, if maybe our former guest, Danny T, wants to send in a comment. I don't know if the outside food is not only the allocation of restaurant resources and space to that, or if it's also an issue of, hey, maybe there's some contaminants or anything that you just don't, you don't want to have any responsibility for. Because if somebody says they ate there and that wasn't your food, you just, I don't know. That just came into my head. But it seems like a relatively minor inconvenience. to say no, half your party can't eat at my restaurant with outside food, to go to the level of spitting at someone, which is disgusting. I don't know. I think that lady was a real witch. Isn't, I can't, I can't. Anyway, so let's talk about something really quickly before we get into our next story. If you're the kind of employer that needs top talent and you very much plan to recruit and retain that talent, not the churn and burn we see on other people, the good companies, the good employers, right? Then hire my mom as the partner you need. Gentlemen, don't be afraid. Hire My Mom is for men too. In fact, they take all the fright out of hiring. Experience the toxic-free environment you always wanted and leave those hire and fire nightmares for your competitors. Visit Hire My Mom and use Toxic Tea Room at checkout to get a 15% discount on job listings. Get that top talent before a lesser company does. That would be frightening. Hey, and you know what? Something about our next story sounds familiar, but I can't quite put my finger on it. What's that called when you think you've done something before? That's it, deja vu. There's something deja vu here, but I can't quite figure it out, Stella. Let's get into it. OK. I used to work at a very upscale store in a very upscale neighborhood. Ooh, bougie. We had a customer come in one day and up, release his bowels in a garbage can in our change room. That's what sounds familiar. Jesus. Here we- what the shit? I think we do. I mean. She said it was the most vile thing she ever smelled in her life. I guarantee that it was. Before we finish her story, I just have to ask. There are times, especially as you get older, and I'm not ancient, so let's all calm down, but I am a Gen Xer. And you know, when you get older, your bladder becomes eventually the size of a walnut, right? And there are times where it's like, I have to use the restroom right now, or we're going to have an embarrassing situation. But never in my personal experience have I ever felt the need to use the bathroom so desperately that I choose to use a waste can in a changing room. I just, I don't understand how someone goes through the mental gymnastics, particularly in an upscale boutique. I don't know what kind of upscale boutique this was. I don't know if it was simply something that is a nicer boutique in a nicer area of town, or if it was a fancy label like a Chanel boutique or a Gucci boutique. I don't know. But why would that, couldn't you just ask to use the restroom? If you're in that upscale of a boutique, they're going to let you. Like you can just ask. And if you don't wanna say, I don't want anyone to think that I shat myself silly in their bathroom, do you think they think higher of you because you did it in the dressing room and the waste can? What goes through someone's mind to just... Of course it does. How do you accidentally shit in a waste can? You made- This is where I struggle! statement? Was he, was he, I don't know. It's weird. Stella, how does one go through the mental, you and I are logisticians, we live on processes and we flowchart in our heads. Flowchart, I feel a pressure in my bowels that since I was a toddler told me I need to defecate. I am in an inappropriate place to defecate. So here's my decision triangle. Do I exit the changing room and ask to use the bathroom? Or do I simply relieve my bowels in the waste can? And this person said, you know what? I'm here. I'm just gonna really, what did you wipe with? And I'm gonna get real granular. What did you wipe with? Did you just walk out with Krusty Booty? Like what, I mean, it's so fricking disgusting. She's only talking about the vile smell. I guarantee there was more than just that this person had to deal with. I don't understand people. Seriously, I don't understand people in general. Okay, there's lots of times I see people just doing things and I'm just, I don't get your thought process. Just, I don't understand. But in this particular case, I just, oh my God. Oh, there's more, hilarious. If that's not enough, because why would it be? Why would that be enough? I had a friend who worked at a tanning salon in the same area. So we're still in the bougie area. And after a customer left, she went to clean the bed, shook out the towel they left behind, and a huge piece of poop flew out. Not sure how people can just relieve themselves anywhere. I'm gonna tell you right now, it's the same fucker. money on the same person, my money on it's the same person, my money, because if you can't, if it's an, look, I'm gonna, I'm gonna Dick Tracy this right now. If you are the kind of person that can go into a changing room at an upscale boutique and relieve yourself in a waste can, you're gonna tell me that a different human being altogether went to a tanning salon in the same area and chose to relieve themselves in a tanning bed? I mean, are you gonna tell me that's two people in the same town? I don't think so. My money, we have a serial shitter, folks. If you are in an area where you're like, you know what? That sounds awfully familiar. Remember that time we cleaned up a log from XYZ and that sounds familiar to you? You have a serial shitter. You guys need to get your cameras ready to go because... That person has problems and that person is taking it out on all of you. That is an act of malice. I don't care. You are not gonna convince me otherwise. Because here's the thing. I mean, it's disgusting. Now, Stella, you are one that likes to look at the bright side. You want to believe the best in everybody. It's often a topic of conversation between the two of us, correct? That like we're yin and yang. You always assume everybody has the best intentions. I assume the exact opposite, right? So let's play your game for a minute here, okay? Perhaps the person or persons you're right. heat of the tanning pad loosened his bowels. I mean... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha out. It's way too hot here. And maybe the outfit he's like, oh shit. Oh, here's a towel. Ha ha ha. Yeah, literally, oh shit. I'm gonna play that game. If somebody had no bad, and if they lacked bad intent, and it was purely an accident, it's embarrassing, but why wouldn't you just go to someone and say, I had an accident, we have a biological hazard. Can you give me something to clean it up? I will clean it. No, that's not what they did. See, you're wrong on this one, Stella. You're wrong. There's no good intent here. There's no accident. This is intentional. This is a poop terrorist. This is somebody that is intentionally going around, disrupting people's day and dropping biohazards in nice areas. Look, you're gonna tell me it's both in the same area of town? Mm-hmm. We have an issue in the same area of town with defecation and it's supposed to be an accident. I've seen better conspiracy theories written on literally nothing than this. Listeners, get all over this. I want somebody find QAnon and tell me why. In the rich area of town, in two separate stores in the same area of town, we have a defecator. I want answers. This is not over. I don't think it's tied to our gas station bathroom, because that was an old man who just clearly lost control and had hydraulics. That's not the same thing. I just wanna be clear about it, but guys, it's fucking disgusting. I can't even, like just, fuck, just, ugh. That's disgusting. Take us away from that. yes, speaking of tanning salon horror stories, we have we have one from an advert listener, Karen, a real Karen, as in named Karen, not an entitled Karen. She may be both, but I have no idea. So here's her story. When I was 20, I worked at a tanning salon, we had two locations in our town. During close up, my friend at the other location called me and said she had a guy still in the bed, but it had turned off over 20 minutes ago. She asked me if I could go over there right away. I locked up my location and flew over to her. What if, just real pause, what if, because this is a tanning salon and there were two locations in the town. What if, what if. One of those locations is the defecator. What if, what if, think about it. What a great distraction. You lay down in the bed, just keep laying there. I'm gonna go over here and defecate and leave it in a towel. I'm onto something, let's go, let's keep going. Cause this is fascinating to me. By now, he was in the bed a good 40 minutes after it had shut off. We banged on the door several times, no answer. Called, Sir, Sir! Nothing. Oh. I went to the room beside him, climbed up on the tanning bed, and looked over the wall. Here was this large man, naked, with nothing but his tanning goggles on. I swore he was dead. Woo wee! I climbed back down, and we ran to call 911. But before we could dial, we heard noises coming from the room. We called back out, sir, are you okay? We heard a, yeah. He comes out, looks at the clock and had the nerve to get pissed at us. He said, what the hell? Why didn't you try to wake me up? All we could say was we tried. Good thing he never found out that I saw him naked thinking he was dead. I mean, cause that would have caused him a little bit of embarrassment. I like, I liked your man voice. to ask Karen if that sounded like him. What the hell? Why didn't you wake up? Why didn't you wake me up? Sir, I'm still traumatized from seeing your ding-a-ling laying in the bed with nothing but your tanning goggles on. Freaking gross. if you thought someone was dead. Why do people tan completely naked in those tanning beds? Why would a man worry about tan lines? Are you gonna go out rocking a thong later at the dance club and you didn't wanna have? I mean, I've never understood it. Like I get women, right? Okay, and we're just gonna have this conversation really quick. We are more likely to at least take our bra off in a tanning bed because... If we go shoulderless on a blouse, we don't want the tan lines. Help me understand what your boxers being on have to do with it, sir. Are you tanning your dingling so it all blends? Like, I don't understand. I just, I don't know why people do that. And it's, if you think about it, and one of the reasons I've done tanning before, because I went to Jamaica and I loved how I looked and I wanted to keep that up for a while. Because I got really, really tan in Jamaica and I loved it. But then after a while I got skeeved out, no harm intended to the tanning bed industry, but it's a tanning bed and there are naked asses on it. And while I know people clean it, I get suspicious. I don't know that it's cleaned enough. I'm the person that wipes down my own hotel room before I do certain stuff because I just, I don't know. I'm not a trusting person. People will take shortcuts and I'm not taking a shortcut with somebody's bare ass cheeks where I have to leave. Absolutely not, no thank you. No thank you. I'm not here for it. No thank you. If you're going to have asked a glass, I want to clean it myself. And so I don't tan anymore in those beds for that reason. I just, I find it offensive for me. Now other people love it. I'm not saying you shouldn't love it, but this man fell asleep. And how do you do that on hard glass with heat? And he fell asleep and said, what the hell, why didn't you wake me up? How would we wake you? We banged on the door. I mean, maybe he was dead. Maybe you were talking to a zombie. What if he was a tanning zombie? Think about it, Stell. What if he was a tanning zombie? What if he really did wake up and if they didn't get him out of there quickly, he would have eaten them up? I'm sorry. And then who was going to clean the other defecation in the other room? I mean, that's a big deal. We have so much to investigate. All right, so we're going to put a bow on this coal coven of customers with this next one. This one is more funny than it is horrific, but here we go. Here's the one that's funny rather than infuriating. Once, when I was working at a car dealership, car dealerships are already the ninth circle of hell. Let's just call it what it is, no thank you. The service department had a customer come in who was complaining that her Bluetooth wasn't working. I was known as the dealership's tech expert, so they asked me to help her out with it, because no one else in the dealership can do Bluetooth. Cool, it's Bluetooth, but okay. I went out and met this little old lady. I can picture her right now, blue hair and all, little old lady, and got into the car with her. She wanted to figure out how to listen to audio books over Bluetooth, but she couldn't get it to work. So I helped her set it up. And the audio book started playing. Turns out it's some smutty romance novel, complete with thrusting and throbbing and heaving bosoms. Don't bring those heaving bosoms to the bank. People gotta bank. People are trying to do withdrawals and deposits of a totally different nature. It's not about the throbbing or the thrusting or the heaving bosoms. Don't do that shit. Don't listen to these audio bunks at a bank. We have a global responsibility, okay? We live in a society. We can't do this. And it took all of my control not to burst out laughing and to maintain professionalism, which is great that he could do that, but my... my mind goes right to little old lady who was probably so unbothered by it. So like what? That's the audiobook I'm listening to. I could just picture her like, so is it fixed? Like you get to an age, I've noticed it and I'm not old yet, but you get to an age where you care less and less about what other people think, which is a healthy way to live. I've often said what other people think about me is none of my damn business and it's a beautiful way to live when you don't have to worry about it. So picture this little old lady, I'm thinking tiny, like four foot nothing. Like I'm thinking of this tiny little lady sitting in her car and here comes this nice man and she's all nice, you know, like grandmotherly. Oh, thank you. I'm really excited to listen to my audio books over the, I can't do an old lady voice, I'm not gonna try. what, if there were customers that were walking by, they might've interpreted the wrong thing. Cause you have this younger guy. No, they. Yeah. is in the wastebasket. So she can't even give two shits because they've already been stolen by this, you know, this terrorist organization that is shitting places. So she can't give two shits. I'm sure she was completely unbothered. I think she just freaking like could care less. I love it that a younger person had to hear all that. And he was just like, this little old lady listening to this is kind of funny. I think it's hysterical. I love that she, I can just picture her in my head and be like, so is it fixed? I mean, I gotta get back to my shirt tearing and. Right? Well, this has been a monstrous good time. Yes. bet there are plenty more out there and hurry it up get them in because we've only got two episodes left We're gonna host workplace horror stories the entire month of October So and after that we're going to change it up a bit We're going to go back to focusing on issues and also what we're thankful for the month of November Which I'll give you a preview Stella. Can't tell you what I'm thankful for Okay, I'm thankful that we have our podcast. I'm thankful that we have each other. We're great partners. And I'm 1000% thankful that I don't work at that shithole anymore. Hahahaha Because I can wake up on Monday morning excited to go to work. I don't sit there at 8 a.m. on Sunday already blasting that it's Sunday because that means tomorrow I have to get locked up in the shithole. I'm thrilled. I'm thankful. So grateful that I'm not there. So we'll talk more about what we're grateful for in November. So send those stories in too. Oh, the teabag. DHE, the teabag, at ToxicTeaRoom.com. All of it. If you like what you hear, or even candidly, if you don't, you can support us via the links in the show notes, Patreon, or by visiting one of our curated affiliate links on our blog as well. And remember, we will have very limited edition toxic tea room mugs going up for sale before month end on our website. Grab one while you can. Yeah, you know, I was gonna say if you hate us, even more reason to donate. Here's my logic. Well, if you donate, we might get better. Anyway, subscribe so you... Subscribe so you don't miss out. And again, visit our blog at ToxicTeaRoom.com slash blog, bog, like bodies in a bog. Have you heard about that? But like the bogs in Scotland where the bodies are like really, really old, like they're ancient. And the mossy water and the, I think tannic acid and all the other stuff that's in that bog preserves those bodies to where they almost get mistaken for recent like murder dumps of bodies. And then they're not, they're like ancient. So that's kind of an interesting thing to bring up for Spooky Spooky, and I just did that on accident. It's ToxicTeaRoom.com slash blog to read, comment, bitch, moan, commiserate, etc. We're here for you no matter what. Until next time, my witches. Bye!